In a world that often feels rushed and disconnected, what if the simplest gesture, a smile, could shift not only your day but someone else’s? In this reflection from Bali, I explore the quiet power of going first, of offering joy without expecting anything in return… and what happens when that joy circles back.
I don’t remember where I heard it or who said it, but I learned somewhere along the way that smiling releases dopamine. The magic part? You get that dopamine hit whether the smile is returned or not. Think about that for a moment: you could smile at 100 people today and receive 100 sparks of happiness. Sure, if someone smiles back, they get a hit too, but I can’t help but feel the dose is stronger when you’re the one who dares to go first.
Every returned smile feels like a double hit. It’s a moment of mutual acknowledgement, proof that your openness gave someone a reason to light up, even for just a second.
Smiling isn’t just a social cue—it’s a small chemical gift to yourself. Studies show that the very act of smiling, even when it’s not entirely spontaneous, can trigger the release of dopamine in the brain. That’s the feel-good neurotransmitter that boosts our mood and makes us feel rewarded. Smiling can also increase serotonin and endorphins, helping reduce stress and enhance overall well-being. So even if your smile isn’t returned, the neurological reward is yours to keep—and to share.
Lately, I’ve been unintentionally testing this theory. I greet everyone with a “good morning,” and I smile at every person I pass. It’s been easy to practice here in Bali, a place so full of warmth and humility that it feels like people are here just to collect smiles. But I want to keep this going, a kind of collection of joy. A series of moments not only where I was brave enough to go first but where I might have started something small and free for someone else.
I think we, as busy humans, have forgotten that we’re wired for community. Most friendships and connections begin with a smile, a glance, a moment of openness. These days, the modern equivalent is a like or a view on social media. But those digital interactions often miss the moment. They lack the presence. There’s no dopamine hit, no real-time acknowledgement, no chance to reciprocate. I enjoy a like just as much as you do, but it will never rival the feeling of a shared smile with someone who meets your gaze.
Recently, I found myself part of a social experiment of a kind. By showing up as my smiling, open self to the same place again and again, a cosy café, I became familiar. The hospitality was always there, but over time, it transformed. Greetings evolved into conversations. We learned each other's names and our usual orders. I went first. I asked extra questions. I made an effort… though, honestly, it didn’t feel like effort at all. The people were warm, and soon enough, they mirrored the energy. (Read the blog on this incredible home away from home)
That light carried through the rest of my day. I noticed it in the way others responded, in the way I felt. A little brighter. A little more connected.
Letting your light shine means knowing not everyone will smile back. Not everyone is in the mood to connect. But imagine it like a Mexican wave of smiles—maybe not everyone joins in, but the ripple moves on. And one day, when you need it most, a stranger will smile at you. (Maybe it’ll be me.)
On a related note, I recently went to a Kundalini class where one of the meditations was simply… laughing, in a room full of strangers. If you’ve never tried it, you must. It was electric, infectious, and unexpectedly moving. We weren’t laughing at anything in particular, and we didn’t even know each other’s names. But it didn’t matter—the joy was real, and it multiplied with each voice joining in.
So here’s a little invitation for today: be the stranger who smiles. Offer it up freely to someone who looks like they need it. It’s the most beautiful, selfish, non-selfish thing you can do. And best of all, it’s free.
