What happens when the dust settles after eleven months of wandering? After living out of a single suitcase and a "long list of hell yes's" alongside an even longer list of "no’s," you eventually find yourself standing in the quiet of what used to be your life.
Returning home is rarely just about unpacking a bag; it is about unpacking the person you became while you were away. Our journey began with a simple question: if not now, then when?. We traded the safety of corporate roles for a 3x3 storage cage and a flight to Bali, seeking a spiritual reset and the courage to let go of the versions of ourselves that no longer fit.
The Trap of Constant Productivity
We often imagine that "checking out" of a busy life leads to instant peace, but the reality is a much slower, often painful unravelling. Even in the serene hills of Ubud, the "switch" that drives us to rush, strive, and nudge our way toward budgets and expectations doesn't just flip off.
I found that I didn’t know how to "not do"—how to simply be. We are so conditioned to believe that our value is tied to our output that even on a journey of healing, we may find ourselves "fighting" to meet imaginary deadlines. It is a humbling realisation to recognise that we often carry our stress like a souvenir, unwilling to leave it at the border.
Redefining Self-Worth Beyond the "Boxes"
One of the hardest parts of this transition was facing the mirror without a professional title to lean on. In the corporate world, we are squeezed into boxes that provide structure but limit our breath; yet, once those boxes are gone, the sudden "floating" can cause a sense of panic.
I struggled with a profound question: Who am I without these roles?. When I tried to learn new skills—like social media or web design—every small failure felt personal, as if the world were against me. I realised that I had been "good at something" for so long that being a beginner again felt like a threat to my self-worth. I had to learn that contribution isn't always about a paycheck or a budget; it is about how we show up in the world.
The Shift from Materialism to Connection
Coming back to the belongings we left behind has been an eye-opening experience. The items I once viewed as elegant now often look like excess. After living with so little, the things we collect no longer feel like the sum of who we are.
Instead, the true value lies in:
- The way we make others feel.
- Our capacity for compassion and generosity—not just with money, but with our time and energy.
- The depth of connection we can find even with a stranger, simply by being open to their story.
An Invitation to Listen to the Gentle Voice
Throughout this year, our focus shifted from "sights" to wellness and integration. By quieting the noise of "shoulds" and "expectations," I finally began to hear a gentle voice nudging me toward a new path: teaching and holding space for others to come back to themselves.
As we look at the "Yin and Yang" of life—the poverty and the riches, the hatred and the love—we are reminded that we have a choice in how we engage with the world.
I invite you to consider your own "boxes" today.
- What would happen if you stopped striving for just an hour?
- Who are you when you aren't being "productive"?
- What are the "hell yes's" you’ve been ignoring?
