Only a 6-hour flight from Melbourne, I took the plunge and decided to undertake my Yoga Teacher Training. Now, what they don’t tell you is that it is more than learning poses and moving through transitions from one position to another, it's an eye and heart-opening experience, and if you ever do a YTT know that you will find yourself ugly crying on your mat. The heart peels open a little wider with every pose, as you look deep into yourself, unfurling every layer of your soul. As each habitual movement is repeated your emotions get uprooted, what you are left with is a rawness that you have likely never experienced before, one that lets you truly see yourself in all the quiet wonderment of such an incredible place.
I may be a little biased, but Bali is one of my favourite places to visit, it somehow transports me from a luxury showroom, (where I work) into a simpler existence. Nothing is as clean or as shiny but the people seem happier and the soul is somewhat more settled here. Bali for me and for many who live in the hustle and bustle of any city life somehow find the perfect cross-section of peace and calm in Ubud. To be honest, Bali has had a home in my heart since I was 14 now, it's so much more.
Walking to the Yoga Sharla each morning for a two-hour session, each one opening a new piece of you, the heart, the hips, the past. It tended to be Hatha or Vinyasa with a deep focus on alignment and feeling how each posture should be in the body, so we could incorporate this into our teaching as the days went on. Each day then moved into a succession of classes that explored the Anatomy of the body, Yogic Philosophy, Yogic traditions, and the Auyraveda lifestyle. Each of these slots crammed from beginning to end with different ways to see the world, that many of us had never considered. The afternoon sessions were filled with poses, each broken down, so we the training teachers could instruct one another how to move in and out safely as if taking a class. Every day concluded blissfully in a yummy meditation. I’m simplifying here, but basically, it was three delightful weeks in which every day I fell deeper into the immersion and deeper in love with yoga.
Each one of us has a different relationship with the poses, the sequences and the overall journey, depending on our disposition and state of mind. Some in the group came with newfound freedoms from breakups, others fresh out of university, these wonderful companions came with a lust and enthusiasm for life that enriched the air with hope. There has never been another time in my life that I have warmed to so many strangers simultaneously. The age group was as diverse as the countries of origin, the mix is part of the wonder for me, I met people who shared one of the most profound experiences of their lives. I got to have my breakthroughs while watching others have theirs. This time of reflection has been one of the joys of my life, these incredible characters were cast alongside me on this magical mystery tour of love, life and values.
As an inquisitive person, I couldn’t help but observe the dynamic as it evolved, the body language, feeling the energies of people and being in awe of them as they explore every new position, each surprised by the strength and capability of their bodies. All of us celebrate each other's successes, it might be their first Crow pose or for others it's the realisation that their back pain is caused by some unresolved emotional trauma, that they have not yet dealt with in life. Every experience is unique, but we were in it together, kindly listening and holding space for one another as we each reached a conclusion in our own eye-opening moments.
My emotional moment happened on day one, in Anatomy (of all classes) we talked about the connection of mind and body and how it will not only remember but keep score. I instantly go to my time with burnout and then the book of the same title that lay at home waiting for me to be brave enough to open it and fully listen. I knew all of the things we were taught that day, but I wasn't ready to connect the dots for myself. I have been working on all these things but for some reason hearing it again from someone new, who makes their living solving these misalignments in people, hit me hard.
Our fabulous Anatomy teacher, Rachel is someone who spends her life adjusting people for better well-being, emotional releases and far more… it's like she saw deep into my soul and called me out on my shit. I’m not sure if she knows this but she helped me so much, to see my burnout in a new and profound way. The recovery is not over and the maintenance of being grounded will be a lifelong journey. The avoidance of Aphasia is reason enough to listen deeply to my body, to hear myself every time I whimper through strained breath and every time I tell myself ‘I’m ok’ when I’m not really. I wrote what I thought to be a powerful and honest portrait of my burnout story, although it helped in the healing, Rachel reminded me on day one, that it may never be fully gone. I’ll just learn to deal with it better as I move to a healthier balance. It was like a loving bullet, right to the heart.
With every moment we feel, we learn, and we lean a little further inward. We do this supported by one another and we do it with compassion and kindness. We see ourselves in these people as we have never seen ourselves before. We are the body, we are the mind but we are also the energy. This training has brought together so much of the learning that I have investigated already it’s like this training is the centre of the mind map that pulls in all the concepts that have resonated with me over the years. It’s like a key that has been torn from the edge of the map that I tried to unravel decades ago.
Over the coming weeks, we will explore the topics covered in the classes, not just the learnings but the feelings that can arise when you open up to the concepts in Yoga and its deep-rooted traditions. These Eastern ways of thinking and feeling are no better or worse than any other, but they connect the dots in many areas without the need to worship anything. The responsibility of these practices are yours and you will find all that you need within, and I love the accountability of such a notion.
Doshas, Chakras, Yogic principles, the fundamental emotions in life, an Ayurvedic lifestyle and all the things in between. I am not an expert in these things, but they cracked my mind wide open so if these ideas have piqued your interest, please stay tuned as I try to elegantly guide you through this first-hand account of a heart-opening and transformative Yoga Teacher Training.
To all of the special humans who embarked on this journey with me, the teachers and East + West Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love you all xoxo
