It was Einstein that said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” I think we all tend to do this in some capacity. We wait for a change to happen, hoping someone or something will rescue us. We sometimes even hate a situation we’re in but are powerless to affect change ourselves. Should we be looking at it differently? Have you ever been in a situation where you are waiting so long for a change or improvement to happen it’s easier if you adapt your behaviour, to avoid the irritation of inaction in others, or sometimes worse, in yourself?
There is truth in what irritates us.
Change is supposed to be one of the true inevitables in life, so if you are looking or fighting for a change and not managing to effect it, it will be disheartening or frustrating. It could be that you are spending your energy with the wrong people or on the wrong things, in these moments of irritation, there is a message. What is it that is really motivating you?
"Not everyone is going to agree and participate in your ideals, and that is ok. That is why they are ‘your ideals’"
These tell-tale signs in the things that annoy you, might lead you to an understanding of what it is you are trying to achieve. Ask yourself why this fight? Is it worth fighting for? What’s in it for you? I’m hoping that it’s that you are making small changes towards your bigger goals. Goals that are in line with your values and will add more meaning to your life.
Insanity or just another Wednesday?
You might find on closer examination that you are fighting for improvement in the wrong place, don’t let this deter you. This is just one example of how insanity can feel like another Wednesday, pushing for things you believe in only for them to never happen. Most people can identify an experience like this in their jobs, or in a relationship that has stopped growing. It’s doesn’t have to be hopelessness that emerges, it could be a lesson, if you let it. Not everyone is going to agree and participate in your ideals, and that is ok. That is why they are ‘your ideals’ but if the phrase ‘pick your battles’ comes up often, then you might need to acknowledge that you are in the wrong place. It’s a common phrase used in situations of an employer, employee, a cop-out, an easy way to sidestep a problem and remind you that it is beyond your power to force change, this is just one easy to identify example. I wonder how many times this barrier appears in our lives before we recognise the repetitiveness, and once recognised, what does it take to actively seek or create a new behaviour to protect yourself from the merry-go-round, all while maintaining your own motivations for the improvements you were looking for in the first place.
"Change can seem so easy upon reflection, we quickly ignore the path that we struggle along to get there."
I realise for many - raising questions around repetitive while being in and out of lockdown might seem silly as every day has felt somewhat similar, but there was life before and there will be after, so think a little deeper. Picture a time when you were stressed, felt like nothing was going your way and you were stagnating, but you couldn’t put your finger on the source. Could it have been that the result you were after was a little beyond you? Permission denied, a pay grade too low, or a knowledge barrier that made you incapable of taking the action you wanted? This inability to make the change happen (for whatever reason) was likely the irritant itself. Feeling powerless is exactly why we are all getting irritated in these lockdowns after all, but now that we know what this feeling is, could it lead us to a deeper understanding of these same feelings in other, more changeable parts of our lives. Think about it, most of us want something better, it might be a better job, home, health, or relationships, but whatever it is we need to feel empowered to find these improvements for ourselves. These betterments, are ours and we need to take responsibility for them, without this we are sitting in a waiting room watching everyone else’s lives go by. What do you want? What changes do you need to make? And what are you waiting for?
Change can seem so easy upon reflection, we quickly ignore the path that we struggle along to get there. Forgetting all time we were told to hold, wait, trust the process while trying not to pull every hair from our heads. Inaction and resistance to change doesn’t have to stunt you. It may seem odd that the institutions we are imersed in seem so resistant to it? Find a way around it. You are not just the job that you do. You can be the changes you want to see. Remember your job is less than 24% of your week. Learn, grow and make changes someplace else. If you cannot beat the indecision, alter the way you look at it, find the opportunity in it. Change is inevitable - it’s the only constant.
An ability to see the roadblock for what it is, or change the things that are important to you will show you something about yourself - let it direct you. Find the source of frustration, you can decide to bypass it, not letting it stop you, finding another route. It is however your irritant, and only you can choose how to see it differently. Take responsibility for yourself and the things that you want to take action in and you’ll notice things will improve rapidly.
